This is Going to End Well

I'm really, really tired. I'm supposed to be getting a final lesson on the making of plov right now, but I've re-scheduled for tomorrow night. I actually have a bit of a break this weekend, which is kind of a mistake. I slept 14 hours last night, woke up four hours ago, and want to go back to bed.

As you all know from my constant complaining, I have health problems that really affect my energy levels. So I'm always tired. But when I really have to, I can generally do whatever I need to do with a cocktail of pain-killers, sleeping pills, caffeine, and sheer stubbornness. I'm out of pain-killers, but other wise going strong these past few weeks. And given my incredible immune system, outstanding overall health level, and general luck and ability to avoid disasters, I have a feeling that running all over the country getting wet and cold and then hanging out in unheated health clinics with lots of people with the flu and TB and stuff is going to end really, really well for me. I've already requested a library trip from my Dad to pick me up trashy historical fiction (I especially love me a good costume drama/mystery hybrid) and warned my parents that I plan on sleeping for about a week when I get back to their house next Thursday.

Um, but things are going well. Yesterday was more interviews and Kyrgyz class. Most of the very important expert types I'm interviewing in Bishkek don't want to be recorded (whereas most people who don't get interviewed as often give me their full names and biographical details even after I've promised confidentiality and that I will not reveal their identities to anyone), but the ones who agree to recording tend to just go all out, naming names and making their dissatisfactions clear. I think that pretty much no one really believes in this idea of confidentiality, so people are basically speaking on or off the record. I had a crazy awesome conversation with someone yesterday who basically went through people in various positions having to do with my topic and told me why they are inadequate. She is not a lady who is afraid of any consequences of her words.

I should have spent today at the National Library, but I didn't. The plan is to see if it's open tomorrow, and then to go to TsUM to pick up enough Russian music and videos to get me through however many years before I leave for foreign shores again, and then go make plov. Monday I have only one interview scheduled so far, but that could change at any moment (I had to run out of a cafe having just gotten my cappuccino the other day, because I finally got through to someone I've been calling and calling and she told me to come in RIGHT THEN), and I have my last Kyrgyz class before my exam, and I'm having tea with my RA's aunt, and then Tuesday all day in Panfilovka, and then Wednesday final and packing and who knows what and probably a last day in the library and then Thursday at 4 AM I leave for the airport. I still can't get anyone at the Russian Embassy to pick up the phone and confirm that I'm good on the visa (you don't need a transit visa if you are going to be there for under 24 hours and not leave the international terminal of the airport, but I fear visa officials nonetheless, and would not be shocked if my outgoing flight were switched to a different airport, meaning that I could not get it. I mean, it's not likely, but it's the FSU. Stuff happens.), but I should be fine, and after a mere 25 or 26 hours transit time, I'll be back on US soil.

Which I'm really excited about. Obviously, I can't wait to see my family and friends. Despite the wonders of email and Facebook and whatever, I feel really disconnected from the lives of most people at home, because unless you're my parents and have called me at least once a week for the past 14 months, I am just not as up on your life as I would be if I were at home. I'm super excited to go to a grocery store, although the memory of the variety contained therein is actually freaking me out, so I can't even decide what kind of food I would like to have in the house. But it will be a big adjustment to settle back into life in TX, and it's a little scary despite being exciting. And I'm a little sad that I will no longer be living the exciting expat life--I have no idea when next I'll be taking off for potential adventures. I mean, I don't actually do anything, and am probably the most boring traveler to ever get a stamp in her passport, but for the past 14 months, there has at least been the potential for crazy foreign adventures, a potential that is ending.

So, yes, very tired, a little emotional, kind of stressed, excited, nervous, and overall just feeling kind of weird. So I'm coping by taking today to do nothing but eat bad local cookies, dance around to mixes created by iTunes, and catch up on Glee watching. I should be catching up on notes and work (I'm missing a grant application deadline and have basically decided to TA next year instead of applying for grants, which is a decision I'll probably regret when my paychecks stop coming in May), but I'm too tired to care right now.